Newsflash: We is condoms that are using. Yes, CONDOMS.

Recently, I’ve been seeing great deal of various wellness resources and community leaders speak about exactly exactly how lesbians don’t need condoms at all inside their intercourse methods. And also this concept actually perplexes me personally! Each time we read it someplace, I pause and think huh? Where did these social individuals manage to get thier safer sex information from?

This might be a section of a larger societal issue for the reason that lesbian, queer and bi women can be usually left out within the discussion about intimate health and STIs. It is as if individuals believe that STIs only result from penises and therefore lesbian, queer and women that are bisexual ever have penises.

Information flash: STIs could be handed down in a lot of ways that are different. Through epidermis to epidermis contact. From anal intercourse. From oral intercourse. From sharing adult sex toys. Just about any type of sex that you’re having, it is most most most likely that STIs can come to be handed down, from individual to individual. It is also essential to keep in mind that lesbian, queer and bisexual women often have actually penises. Or often we utilize dildos while having sex. As well as for both a vibrator and a penis, condoms can be utilized as a barrier approach to reduce the probability of STIs being passed away.

In de-stigmatizing STIs, it is essential to see if you test positive for an STI that it’s not the end of the world. Your daily life as well as your sex-life aren’t over. Then we can all grow and learn together—and have more pleasurable sex if we are able to have access to this kind of safer sex information!

We’ve currently talked about various barrier practices that lesbian, queer and bisexual ladies can use whenever sex that is having one another. And yes, condoms are contained in those choices. You need to use condoms being a barrier whenever having a penis in vagina or when having rectal intercourse, whenever you’re utilizing an adult toy or dildo, and you will additionally cut a condom down the center (with scissors) if you want a dental dam for analingus or sex that is oral. Whenever we tell ladies who sleep along with other ladies which they don’t need condoms to apply safer intercourse, our company is perpetuating this misconception which our intercourse is intrinsically safe from any STIs being shared.

Numerous of my lesbian, queer and friends that are bisexual laugh about how exactly they don’t training safer intercourse. We hear queer ladies make jokes about dental dams and exactly how they not have when used them. All this makes me wonder whom inside our community do practice safer sex actually? And then having in-depth conversations about our sexual health before we f*ck if we aren’t using barrier methods, are we? Are we constantly prioritizing getting tested between our lovers? And not soleley a pap smear (for the reason that it does not protect all of it), but like obtaining a complete build up?

I don’t say some of this become judgmental, at all.

I’ve already been that girl to laugh about dental dams. I’ve additionally had one evening stands where i did son’t prioritize me personally or my partner’s health that is sexual. But i would like us to accomplish better. I’d like us in order to have genuine, nuanced conversations about our intimate health. As it matters, babes. And I also navigate to the web-site need to get previous laughing about dental dams and shrugging down condoms as a choice.

Usually in this discussion, I have expected well, exactly exactly just what she doesn’t think that’s sexy if I want to use a dental dam but? This fear is indeed extensive that personally i think like a lot of lesbian, queer and bisexual women can be even afraid to inquire of their lovers to train safer intercourse. But let me make it clear a queer girl key, getting dental intercourse by way of a dental dam is sexy and feels amazing. In reality, anyone it surely changes things for could be the individual providing the dental. It’s a small bit various of a personal experience, but the one that you will get utilized to! It’s sexy for the person getting because 1. you’re both prioritizing each other’s intimate wellness, which will be hot AF and 2. in my own truthful viewpoint, it nevertheless seems pleasurable as f*ck.

In addition discover how hard it could be to carry the conversation up of STIs just before have intercourse, especially if you’ve never really had intercourse with this specific individual prior to. Something I’ve discovered in my own many years of messily sex that is navigating relationships is the fact that whenever I consult with some body in regards to the form of sex both of us wish to have and in what style of obstacles you want to make use of— we have wayyyy better intercourse. Like I’m maybe not saying this because I’m a sex geek. I’m suggesting my honest queer woman truth. Intercourse is way better whenever you speak about desire as well as your figures first.

Let’s break it down.

You and this hookup that is potential know each other’s systems yet. Every person that is single their very own desires and ticks and techniques, that turn them the f*ck on. And even though you can play a guessing game while you’re making love to determine exactly what

with this brand new individual, you can rather, mention it beforehand. Is not it enjoyable in order to f*ck someone the method they would like to be f*cked? Then chances are you already fully know the go-to spot for them, where you desire to build as much as and just how to obtain them become putty in your hand.

You want to use while you’re having sex—a lot of people think it’s super not sexy and takes all the fun out of it when it comes to talking about what barriers and/or toys. But imagine that and now you can’t have an orgasm because you’re so in your head about not speaking up for your needs if you’re having sex but the whole time you’re anxious because you really wanted to use a dental dam but didn’t know how to tell her? That’s no enjoyable for anybody, believe me. Whenever you have that conversation taken care of prior to starting making love, then chances are you already fully know to go after the condom if you use your strap-on or whether she’s cool with fluid bonding or perhaps not. They are important components of intercourse therefore we should not ignore them.

I’ve research for several of you looking over this at this time. The time that is next having a fresh hookup with some body, you will need to integrate several of those conversations just before strike the bedsheets and find out just just what the outcomes are. We bet you that you’ll have actually some mind-blowing consensual safer intercourse!